Monday, December 31, 2007 @ 2:05 AM


hohoho.. looking at my room now, i cant help but to feel really excited!!

just in case you dont know, i am in the midst of a major overhaul with my room! hahahs. my room would be turning purple and my table which prolly is as old as my mother will be thrown away and a white table would be here! not only that, i am still thinking of a way to fit a reading corner with a couch in it.. this would be a little heaven soon.. but as for now, it looks like hell.. my books are everywhere, things are thrown all over the floor.. goodness.. it looks like a war zone.. i will take a picture of before and after once it is done..

as i was clearing my stuff for the past three days, memories of the past came flooding back to me and made me realise how much stuff have i take for granted in my life.. cards that were handmade by some of the sweetest people that ever stepped into my life made me wanna tear as the love that they poured out is so much more then what i have poured out.. to those i've take for granted, i am sorry.. people like dawn koh, edlin, kimberly and many others.. those who went through the crazy secondary school days with me.. thanks so much!

2007 is coming to an end really really soon.. looking back.. this year has been a hell ride of emotions, trails, sufferings and tribulations. many life lessons taught and learnt.. BUT i thank God for staying by me through and through.. and also bringing some of the most awesome people into my life! i would say i grew alot alot just this year alone.. this year also marks the beginning of a new school life in poly and by his grace i managed to get a GPA of 3.3 in the first sem.. new friends which means new fun.. my relationship with my sis improved by leaps and bounds! this is really a prove of God's amazing grace! so in conclusion, i love this year as much as i hate this year.. i cant wait for 2008! a new beginning as i start afresh at a higher level.. God, pls be with me.. :)

Saturday, December 29, 2007 @ 1:00 PM


its been long since i blogged.. hahahs. i shall do a picture post.. of alot of random stuff.. so here it goes..


look at my pretty disney princess tissue box! i love disney princesses!!



with emily during christmas service ushering


this is with harvi on christmas service too.. fooling around.. you are suppose to see two heads.. ahahsh


candlelight with harvi


my sister with her twin! hahahs. if i were to explain why here, she will kill me.. so you go figure it out yourself


the son of CM!


on the bus at malaysia! the first time taking a bus there!


my loot from malaysia! this is only half of the stuff i bought! i spent only $200RM!


the gift box from guess?


the two belts from guess? the pink one is my fav!


shoes from kel! it doesnt look that WOW at first sight.. but after looking at it for a while, its really pretty!!
thanks girl!

i shall not post anymore.. i have things to do now.. sigh.. my blog is still not done properly!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007 @ 11:36 AM


i had one of the funniest day ever in the history of my life. wenjie, mengyee and i played a prank on jerry baby during his jap tutorial class. OMG! its damm funny!!! the way he looked is damm cute no matter what.. his split second uber shy boy look is still drop dead gorgeous.. its hard to elaborate it here. and you most prolly wont find it funny as no actions can be seen.. so i shall save it. hahahahs. i will never forget that look and grace is so gg to just bury herself in the ground during tutorial class for the next 3 weeks.

tml is accounting test day and OB dateline submission. one thing i look forward to tml is:CLASS BBQ!! its been damm long since i saw malay bao but that dawn koh is not coming!!!!! now now now... what happen to my pineapple tarts.. i am so gg over to her kampong at ubi to get it from her! by hook or by crook..

talking abt it, CNY is coming! OMG! so fast!! maybe its because of the projects and all that i didnt realised its just 2 weeks away!!! i have not done any shopping and my hair is disgusting. i am not so worried abt clothes because i have plenty of new ones at home.. you will find me disgusting but i just found a top that has been in my cupboard for slightly more than 1 year with price tag attached to it!! muhahhaha. i have about 6-7 pieces of new clothes in my wardrobe. so i have no worries. i just need to get shoes, handbag, stockings, leggings, bangles and necklaces.. of course, make up.. yup.. you did not read wrongly, tan yan bing is getting vain and buying make up.. oh wells.. and guess what brand of lipstick i bought last week.. nope. its not chanel(i am still stabbing my heart because of it) i got anna sui instead. i felt like i betrayed my fav brand.. i promise i will get something chanel in my make up stuff.. maybe the tissue paper.. hahahhas. nah lah. i was just kidding.

i think i need to stay up tonight.. wish me well! i got a good night sleep last night also, had an awesome time in the presence of God..

oh man.. whatever happened to running once in two weeks?? oh wells.. stop procrastinating and get ur lazy bum to work out!!

Monday, December 17, 2007 @ 2:00 AM


back from camp breakaway! i wasnt as tired as i have expected to be.. so i am up early and able to blog abit..

i do not have much photos and much things to talk about camp breakaway.. simply because i was only there on the second night.. which means, more then half of the camp/activites are already over.. i simply went there to fellowship with people and of course, hungry for a new touch of God..

God never fail to disappoint me.. on the first night, pst talked about having a new encounter with God.. God really touched my heart and pst went on the lay hands on everybody.. but.. something within me wasnt satisfied.. i dont feel that.. you know thing... i dont know how to explain it.. but i knew i wasnt getting what i want.. i was disappointed at first but i kept telling God and myself, there must be something else.. there MUST be..
so what happened the rest of the night is simply just games games, girls talk and all.. i slept early.. because the mugging for the week has already really drained me up.. chris said he saw shooting stars.. i am jealous.. damm jealous.. i really want to see shooting stars!! nvm.. God will make a new one for me..

morning comes, woke up.. bathe in cold water!!!!!!!!!(at 7am)i tell you.. its freezing and i just feel like running home right there and then in the cubicle.. but i cant.. goosebumps was all over my body as i wash my hair.. really couldnt take the cold and wanted to just stop bathing... i grabbed my towel and wrapped myself in it damm tight cos i was really really cold.. kept shivering! i meant it! i was like... shaking in the cubicle.. really wanted to not bathe my body but i couldnt take the feeling of dirtiness.. so.. i just braved the cold waters and get my bathe clean in like 5 minutes! hahahs.. not only that, my butt ache and hurt now because sleeping on cold hard floor isnt a comfortable thing to do.. first time sleeping in a sleep bag.. it is so so uncomfortable!!! i miss my bed like crazy!!!

now here comes the exciting part.. we had morning devotion at 1045am.. so its just a simple, normal time where pst will just share something.. its not even a sermon.. sitting there, i was just listening and all.. then pastor got the zone to pray for christmas services.. as it goes on, pastor just said, "i want to pray for my ANDG people.. come forward.. we are in no hurry.. i want to be soak in the presence of God.." i was like.. "God, i want something from you!" when pastor laid hands on me, i just feel this weight come upon my spirit.. theres this weight of something.. after i got up, went back to my place to stand, there, i just started to tear.. its just so awesome.. there and then, i knew life i different.. i just know that, i am changed..

went for service after that, the sermon pst king preached a phenomenal message!!! i was so so blown away!!! sitting there, got me really really excited in my spirit! no words can describe it!

i had a power packed weekend.. now, its time for revival!

Friday, December 14, 2007 @ 11:13 AM


bing, you need to press on alright!

sigh.. one last paper tml.. so far.. i would say all my tests has been good.. esp. accounting.. i think i will score.. think only lah.. i thank God for giving my anointed common sense.. i guess my way through accounting and when i came back home to check, it got them correct.. so i have a good chance of doing well.. hahahas.

marketing paper tml.. God, pls help me do well!

after paper, would be accompanying my mum to the hospital.. oh oh! she said she will be getting a new MP3 for me since mine have melted.. i dont know how true her words are.. but i am hoping! life without music is sad..

what am i blogging.. bing, pull yourself together and start studying!!!

"its time to get back to that point of reference"

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 @ 2:32 PM


i've been listening to this song at least 7 times today, imagine me without you by jaci velasquez..

at first, just by reading the title i thought it is a lovey dovey song.. you know.. for a girl and boy.. but i was so wrong! its a song written to jesus.. i love this song.. it really rekindled my first love.. it really got me thinking back of the time when i was lost and all.. it was then he came to set me free.. it was him that made my life brand new..

what a wonderful way to end this year.. i am just gg to thank Him for everything that happened in this year.. i really cannot imagine my life without him.. totally.. like what the song says,

"imagine me without you, Lord, you know its just impossible because of you, its all brand new, my life is now worthwhile.. i cant imagine me without you."

someone, if you have this song, pls send it to me! i really want it in my future MP3!

@ 3:40 AM


i am not suppose to be changing blogskin when i am having a paper later.. man.. i am getting complacent! cannot like that lah..

as you can see, the blogskin is not really ready yet.. because i will feel bad completing it.. hahahas

Sunday, December 09, 2007 @ 12:44 AM


indeed like what the bible says, two is better then one.. when one falls, the other can pick him/her up.. a friend is someone who let you ride on him when your wings have trouble remembering how to fly..

i feel so extremely bless after talking to samuel.. if he can read this(which i dont think he can cos his com is down), i really thank you for the one hour of hearing me talk nonsense..

i was feeling really disgusting just now.. its me and my stupid nonsense brain again.. i started to feel insecure and lousy about myself.. and the thought sam is gg to army next week and jeff is gg overseas next week means i am gg to take the team myself.. i feel like... i cant do at all.. i so nearly cried when i was talking to him.. i keep telling him i cant do it.. i cant.. that he needed to just ask my shut up and listen to him.. he said this, "bing, listen to this, the fact is you can do it!"

thanks sam! i am eternally grateful for that..... you didnt know that one hour of listening and what you told me really make me believe in myself.. thanksx10000

come out of army asap k! i promise i will miss you... hahahas.

Friday, December 07, 2007 @ 12:44 AM


its 1224am now.. has been studying for the night.. man... i have little time to complete, OB+marketing+business statistics! i really need God's wisdom and strength..

God, pls hear me and bless me..

i am gg to continue to study soon.. another 15 more mins..
i have promised myself i will complate OB-motivation and hopefully perception..
then one hour on business statistics.. my probability is DYING... i dont understand who created probability lah! makes no sense..

anyway, these few days, mum aint at home.. she went to malaysia with pastor.. i miss her ALOT.. its been long since she has been away from home for so long.. sigh.. life without her is cup noodles for dinner everyday.. i am gg bald soon.. i want mummy home! and this mummy of mine is damm cute.. she packed the fridge with TONS of food before she left.. i wonder why.. just in case she forgets, her daughter here doesnt know how to cook.. neither do my siblings.. and she bought EVERYTHING in ntuc except my junkies! she hates me.. hhahahs.

so my daddy kind of took over the mummy stuff at home but miss the mark by miles and miles! hahahas. he is so fierce when he ask have we eaten.. but he can be cute.. my sis was asking him where did mummy go(when my mum left for malaysia, my sis was in a camp).. my dad answered, "she went to find jesus" i was like laughing like mad when i heard that.. (note: my dad aint a christian) then my sis replied, "why didnt u go with her to find jesus?" my dad kept silent.. just sipping his milo.. then he asked, "call mummy and ask her have she found jesus.." hahahahs.. i was like... goodness! cute dad.

it all starts from me.. love..

Wednesday, December 05, 2007 @ 1:30 AM


i am still surprised as to how henry(workplace) can read my emotions damm well..he just know it when i am feeling pissed off that day when i work.. he just know when i am overjoyed.. he seems to be able to read me.. i am shocked.. because i aint close to him and i was even afraid of him last time.. cos he was so freaky.. not that i experience alot of his freakiness.. kel gets it more! anyway, kel when u see this, pls think straight.. i am focus only on one guy.. you know who! starts with.. G. hahahas

so today was one pissed off day for me.. seriously.. just totally ZERO patience and tolerance! maybe because i need to fold A ZILLION sweaters because of those stinky customers, maybe it is because i went to the DUCK rice store and ordered CHICKEN rice.. (oh yes.. i did just that.. you should be glad i am still alive) or maybe because i didnt eat subway today and i felt bad(they are having that major Hero discount!) or maybe because i missed my train station and went to pasir ris and ended up having to take another train home.. maybe simply because, i am near to being broke as pay is delayed.. one thousand and one reason lah.. you get my idea..

but i have some good things too!

i completed the southpark game in my phone still the last third season! that game is so addictive and makes me sweat because i get so kan chiong..
pay cheque came in today!
jia ying have 25% discount card from cotton on!
i found my secret hangout place in orchard! away from the crowd! just peace!
i still have God no matter what happens.. isnt that the greatest thing of all?

Monday, December 03, 2007 @ 1:30 AM


i had such a hell of emotional ride for the past one week.. i need a break.. i need a holiday.. i need to escape to a place that is far far away from this place because i just feel like i cant hold on to anything anymore.. things that i always cling on so tight so all seems too weak suddenly.. is it me or what?

i was left crying and crying, weeping and weeping, tearing and tearing that i feel that i really need to verse, "those who sow in tears shall doubtlessly reap in joy"..

you told me so many things on friday night.. too much.. too much to digest.. because it really affected a HUGE part of my life.. you told me the answers to my questions and i have to say, it hurts.. though i said "i will", i dont know whether can my words really match up to my actions.. this year, i've went through too much.. too many times people told me,"you told me the same thing since 3 months ago...." i am afraid.. not because i am not willing, but simply because i dont know whether can i really do it.. i need some love.. you told me that you love me.. but how come i still feel so terrible..

i want a stranger that can understand me..

why a stranger? because strangers do not judge.. they simply listen..

but if they are strangers, how can they ever understand me??

another dilemma in the world..

saturday comes, two major bombs exploded on me.. it was too hard to accept to truth.. i cant believe what is happening to my life right now.. when pst preached, i thought that he read my mind or something..

like what i learnt in psychology, how part of our mind works is forgetting..

but it seems my ku ku brain doesnt do such kind of business..

i will need some time.. no.. its not gg to be three four years.. but maybe three four minutes will do..

this post is not for anyone to understand except me.. or maybe even him..